I am Changing

Tonight was an emotional night for me. Maybe the bottle of Bordeaux we had with diner has a bit to do with it, but I realized I am changing.

I spent the first couple of days here in Noyon freezing cold, exhausted, and depressed. I felt the lonliest I've ever felt in my life, completely isolated from my friends, family, and all that was familiar to me. My head was clouded with thoughts about the past, and feelings of regret. I spent so much time agonizing over a past relationship, and panicing about the fact that I had several months left of this journey with no way of escape because it was too late to turn back. I was like a prisoner of my own mind. A lot of others tell me that they battled with the same feelings in the beginning, so I guess it's normal.

But thats over now. And I'm so grateful!

Since then I've made friends, gotten to know my roommates, grown to appriciate my new hometown, and most importantly, TRAVELED! I haven't even been here a whole month and I have already been to Amiens, Albert, and PARIS!! And tomorrow I'll be boarding a flight to Madrid, Spain! It will be my first time there so I'm super excied!! I'm going to visit a friend so it should be a lot of fun.

One of the beautiful things about living here in Europe is that I live closer to one of my very best friends, Federica. She has spent the last week with me, and its been so wonderful having her around. It's like being with family, which I really needed. We explored and partied in Paris together, and spent a couple of chill days here in Noyon. Today was her last day in France before heading back home to Italy, and we spent the morning at the open air market and the evening making diner and talking. This is when I got emotional. I told her about how I'm beginning to feel a bit like my old self again, but in a completely different way. I confided my feelings to her and analyzed them. It was helpful because I'm really in transition right now, and I'm just starting to process everything.

After Spain I head back to my boulot (job) of teaching classes to my eager pupils. I'm trying to organize some lessons now because I know all be too exhausted when I get home to try to make some. I promise I'll update more soon! For now, here are a couple of pics of my new home:

My day feels incomplete if I do not have at least one pastry or baguette. Seriously!

Before it started POURING out of nowhere

The houses here are so cute

They remind me of Mr Rogers Neighborhood!

Or a storybook

Or pleasantville

J'adore la France!



Hasta Luego! (gotta get ready for Spain haha)

<3 Francesca

Celebrity Life

I feel like a local celebrity at school

so my job is to basically speak englihs and play games with a bunch of kids. At orientation they told us that we are like a present for them, and I think its right. When i first entered the classrooms the kids all looked at me like a shiney new toy they couldnt wait to play with. I had varied reactions from my 13 classes on my first days of work. some classes gave me a round of applause, some stood up as I entered the room, and some all shouted "HELLO!" at the top of their lungs lol.

A little update on my life!

My new home!

I know, I've been living here in France for two weeks now (WOW), and not a single peep. But I have a good excuse! I am proud to reveal that up until yesterday I have been living a completely disconnected life, with no cell phone and no internet connection at home. I've been able to sneak a few minutes here and there at the library or at the schools I work at but I never have enough time to write something!

So now that I have a reliable internet connection at home, I can update this blog and My Peace Love & Travel! I don't have enough time to write too much tonight because I have to prepare for my classes tomorrow and go to bed lol. But I'll tell you what my day was like today:

*Woke up at (around) 6:30am
*Got the bus to school at around 7:45am, greeted the bus driver "bonjour" and got dropped off at school about 30min before classtime.
*Walked in with the directrice (the principal) and immediately felt like I was in an icebox because it was FREEZING in the builing. Smiled and nodded my head in indimidation as she said somethings to me in French at a rapid speed. I understood about %5 of what she said, and didn't have the courage to ask her to repeat it lol
*Spent the day teaching eager French kids the "Trick or Treat Song" (including the smell my underwear part lol) and Halloween vocabulary. It was rediculously cute.
*Took the bus home, and on the way stopped at the boulangrie to get a half baguette for my lunch tomorrow and then Monoprix, kind of like a cross between CVS and Albertsons, to get some food.
*Walked home and did routine things like laundry and dishes.

I live in an apartment with two roomates. This is the first time I've moved out of the house and lived on my own or with other people so mundane things like laundry, dishes, and cooking for myself are kind of a big deal! haha

I promise I'll update more and post pictures when I get a chance! Hopefully this week!

<3
Bisous!
Francesca

Just Around the Riverbend!

LESS THAN 24 HOURS UNTIL I CHUNK UP THE DUCES!

This is my Facebook status right now, and I can't believe the time has almost come! I'm almost headed off for France! Forget the fact that I still have to work on my packing situation. I will most likely be bringing two 50lb suitcases, a backpack and a carry-on. These items total weight just about as much, if not more than I do, so I'm preparing for struggles and lots of stares from people wondering if I'm crazy lol.

So a post or two ago I said how I always related to Ariel, and how she wanted to be "part of that world." Well, now I feel more like Pocahontas, which is better anyway because she was strong, wise, independent, and a real risk-taker. Something really exciting is just around the corner for me, and it may not be the smoothest or most steady course, but it's mine and I'm ready for it!



See you in France!

<3
Francesca

Mon Pere est Sage

So I also wanted to write about a conversation I had with my dad yesterday.

I was talking to him about something unrelated to me leaving, but I don't remember what it was! Somehow he got into a little speech about how you have to live life fast, and take every opportunity because most of them only come once. He also told me that you only get to live this life one time, and it goes by so quickly so you have to do all you can now, while you can. I thought this was very wise, and excellent advice! Especially for someone like me who is indecisive, and wastes a lot of time mulling over the details of something rather than just doing it! Thank God it didn't get in the way of me going to France, but I want to really take heed to everything he told me!

Live your life and be free!

<3
Francesca

Almost Gone!

It's really late, I'm sleepy, and I haven't started packing yet so I am going to go to sleep ASAP so I can wake up at a decent hour tomorrow, but I just wanted to pop in with a quick update. I wanted to write more frequently leading up to my departure, but time is going by so quickly!

So I only have 6 DAYS LEFT!!!!!!!!!

It's starting to hit me.

I've felt like a crazy person at times over these last couple of days because I have so many emotions that keep coming up. I either break out into a spontaneous dance start screaming out of pure excitement, or burst into tears, or just start getting short of breath, when I think about the move. Lol I guess I am kinda crazy, huh? This is such an amazing opportunity, and such a blessing to be moving to France! It really is my dream come true, and I can't believe it's real! And it will also be so amazing to be on my own for the first time! It's going to be so cool! I'm glad it's an apartment and not a dorm or something.

Over the weekend I celebrated my going away by salsa dancing thursday, country dancing friday, and having diner and going to a bar with music after on saturday. The most touching was saturday, because it was spent with my best friends. Going away has really made me stop and appreciate what I have here, and how fortunate I am to have great people in my life who love and care about me. It's one of the lovely side effects I guess.

So I also did something crazy today and GOT A TATTOO! It was really painful, but also a beautiful moment for me because it's such a major decision and my mom and sisters were there for me and encouraging me to suck it up and do it! :-) My tattoo says "faith" and is something that will really be meaningful to me in this experience!

La vie est trop bonne!

<3
Francesca

And the countdown continues...

Il y a 13 jours restant!

I leave in 13 days! I feel like I'm on an emotional rollercoaster. Well actually, I am. But such is normal for someone experience all that I am right now.

It's really an unbelievable thing, to be going so far away for such a long period of time. And for me it's complex (as everything seems to be) because I'm used to travelling, and the idea of "leaving" is nothing new for me. But my brain is just now starting to register that this is not just the average vacation. In fact, it's not a vacation at all! I'm going to live there. Create a life there. Grow and change as a person there. It's crazy!

But I'm so happy, and excited, and thankful that it's France. Of all the places in the world I could end up, it's a blessing to be placed in France, a place that makes me truly happy.

I was reading through my old journal from the first time I ended up there, and how sad I was when I left. I was so heartbroken, and so desperate to make a way back one day. I had so many hopes because of that. To learn French, to stay longer. Now look at me! God is good.



I remember listening to this song so much when I came back, and feeling just like she does. I know it's corny, but it's true! I love listening to it now and not being sad, but knowing that my dreams are coming true instead. :)


<3

Francesca